What You Ought to Know About Pretend Urine
DISCLAIMER: Content in this article is for reference purposes and is not intended to substitute for advice. The products in this article are for novelty use only.
Pee, piddle, wee wee, piss. Whatever you call it, urine is a hot topic these days as more states legalize marijuana. The reason? When it comes to drug tests, urine drug tests tend to be the most common. THC can stay in a person’s urine for a month or more so that can pose a problem for someone who needs to take a last-minute test. No one really knows how long THC will stay in your system. It really depends on a lot of factors. To most people, the idea of synthetic urine is a little mind-boggling, let alone the concept of using it. That’s why we’re going to break down everything you need to know about fake pee. Get ready, it’s a bit of a wild ride!
What Is Fake Urine?
So, what is fake urine? Fake urine pretty much what it sounds like. It’s fake pee! For the most part, fake urine is often used to help a consumer pass a urine test. Synthetic urine is a man-made cocktail of compounds and liquids designed to fool lab technicians into thinking it’s real pee. Fake urine comes in liquid solutions and dried powders.
Fake urine can be used for animal repellant, medical research, and science. In addition to passing tests, it can also be good for pranks.
Why Is It a Thing?
In the wake of legalization, more adults than ever are accessing legal pot. Even though more people are smoking, urine testing is still common among employers. Whether someone is looking to land their dream job or keep food on the table with the job they already have, urine tests are the bane of every smoker’s existence.
No one is proud to say they’ve resorted to fake urine for urine testing, but naturally eliminating traces of THC can take up to two months, and detox drinks are hit or miss at best. When you’re suddenly faced with a urine screen, fake pee seems like a viable, one-stop option. You have to be careful about which synthetic urine your use. Not all urines are reliable so do your research and choose a reliable brand.
What Kinds Are There?
There are hundreds of fake urine brands out there, and they all claim to work. Since there’s not much advertising for it and people aren’t exactly registering complaints with the Better Business Bureau, it’s difficult to find out which one’s work. The key is to look for these crucial elements.
Contains urea AND uric acid
All of these are markers that labs look for when they test urine, to make sure it’s the real deal. If the stuff you choose doesn’t mention all of these indicators, put it back on the shelf!
Synthetic urine comes in both liquid and powdered forms. Some kits even come with a wearable contraption that allows you to store it discreetly on your person as you take the drug test.
Temperature Really Matters
When it comes to checking urine tests, they always check the temperature first. Temperatures always must mimic actual body temperature of 95 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Most synthetic urine companies will have you warm up the urine in the microwave and keep the urine close to your body to keep it warm or use a special heating pad that keeps it the right temperature. There is often a thermometer that can make sure the temperature is right at the time of the test.
Where Can I Find It?
Most headshops carry varieties of synthetic urine. The problem is that some stores carry the cheapest no-name synthetic urine they can find that doesn’t hold up to the test and the manufacturers don’t stand behind those brands.
Quick Fix Synthetic Urine is known to be the most reliable synthetic urine on the market.
Do People Really Do This?
They do, and many manage it with great success! In fact, an acquaintance of mine who wishes to be referred to as “Chris” has used fake urine for urine testing multiple times. In fact, much of the information I’ve shared so far came from his expertise. Chris was willing to answer a couple of questions I had about using synthetic pee. Here’s what he had to say.
LB: Would you say fake pee is worth it?
Chris: Depends. For me, definitely. I keep some around because my job can randomly test me, and I’m not about to stop smoking! The synthetic urine is how I got the job, and it’s probably going to help me keep it. But yeah, the whole thing is pretty embarrassing. You just have to get over it after doing it a couple times.
LB: What’s it like using synthetic urine for the first time?
Chris: Scary as heck, man. I’m not even paranoid normally, but that first time was a killer. You read the box 50 times to make sure you’re doing it right. You’re suddenly like, “Am I walking funny? Do I look suspicious? Are they going hear me?” It sucks, but then you realize the people who work there aren’t out to get you specifically, and you relax a little bit.
LB: Any horror stories to share?
Chris: Not from me, my tests were always unsupervised. But my buddy once got caught with his pants down, literally. He was trying to use a fake urine kit including a penile prosthesis, but he was so nervous that he actually pulled down his underwear and the thing fell out. He didn’t get that job.
LB: Any tips for someone trying to use fake urine for urine testing?
Chris: Spring for the high-end stuff, read the directions, and relax.
The Bottom Line
Despite Chris’ enlightening information, you should still view the possible negatives of using fake pee, relating to your job. Of course, most of us would prefer that drug testing wasn’t an issue at all. The majority of urine tests are pre-employment, and the future of urine testing is a hot topic that we’ve covered in previous articles. Make sure you check the expiration date.
You have to be careful about which synthetic urine your use. Not all urines are reliable so do your research and choose a reliable brand.
Hopefully, the need for synthetic urine declines as more companies come to their senses and stop restricting their candidate pool based on who smokes weed on the weekend!